THE MOST IMPORTANT WEEK OF THE TERM

Gosh, it is 23pm and i have just sat here at my pc while my clothes are being washed and im drinking a light coke.

I have got in tonight at 22:40, we had to stay till late (me and José Carlos) cos we had many, many, many things to sort out.  Glad we have a man who is at the same time the valet, the driver, the mechanics and the security person, and he drove me home.

We both were in my office (me and José) sorting out things and the school was closed, just the lights of the main entrance and secretary on and the driver guy was sitting in one of the couches in the recepction desk watching TV while we were there, working.  The telephone rang at about 22:30 and it was the security ppl who pass by car in front of the school to check if everything was ok, and as they saw we had some lights on (and they know that the school is supposed to be closed at 22hs) they call the school and say a "secret" phrase, and we have to respond saying a secret answer. Gosh.  I didnt know about it.  Zé Carlos  told me that if they call and i dont respond the secret answer correctly and promptly, then, they call the police and then, we are all screwed.  Can u imagine?  What a scene?  helicopters, and police cars, all around the school just because i wasnt concentrated enough when i asnwered the damm phone call.  What a shame.   Now one more thing to worry:  i have to be really "on" to pick any calls which a person says the damm secret question.  Gosh!!|

Well.  This weekned i had a very productive chat with Chris.   Finally i spoted all the things that were making me annoyed and upset.  I was afraid he could turn to me and say: "Hey,  stop picking on me! We havent even met and u are already complaining about the way i am??"
Gosh, i was really afraid he could come up saying something like this. 
But well, honestly, i had to have this conversation as i was feeling really "put aside", and sometimes i think he behaves cold.  I know that he is asleep and etc etc But gosh!
I want him to be sweet  and always! The same as I am !:)

For Gods sake, if i give all my love i deserve to have at least 90% back! hehe  I love him!! very much!! so good to be able to express this w/o fear!  W/o shame or w/o thinking: omg, i cant say i love him cos otherwise he will be certain about my feelings.  Bullshit.  If i love, i say.   If i dont love, i dont say.  So, As he doesnt say this much w/o me saying it first, i start thinking he doesnt love me.  and then, i get sad.  :(

Hope he loves me always :)  And feels great by my side!  I will do all at the reach of my hands to make him feel great and the happiest man ever!  But i also need to feel that.  How? Just caressing me, telling me that loves me, and also, hold me, just that! :) ah! and most important of all:  To be happy to be by my side and share a life with me:) 

This sounds so deep, isnt it?  Im afraid to say:  "to share a life with someone".  But if u pay attention, this is what we are doing now.  Even being so far from each other, we share a life together.  The sad point is that this could be for real, in person.

Well, but in december i will have the opportunity to find out how Christopher is for real.  How he dresses like, how he eats, how he walks, how he hugs, how he talks, how he sleeps, all!!!! :)

That is thrilling!!! omggggg!!!  Butterflies inside my stomach!!! How terrifying to think that soon, he will hold my hand!!!!! omgggggggggggggggg!!!!

As days pass by, i get more and more anxious. I will be scared to death if i notice that at our first eye contact, he makes a face of "oh dear, she is so ugly."  Or, worst of all: "Oh dear, she is not what i had thought she was"   Gosh.  this is way too scary.

But anyway.  

What to say then?  Shall i say: "Im sorry, Chris to disappoint you, but this is how I am".   or, better:  "Im sorry Chris, but im not britney Spears, and i dont give a damm if u thought i would be as she is".  Gosh..   I wonder if he is nervous and anxious the same way i am...  I dont think boys get anxious about this sort of meeting...  or do they?  humm...  Wonder if he stops during the day to think about it, like: "Oh, what if she doesnt like me?"  i dunno...   maybe he is more confident than me..  maybe he doesnt think about these things, or even doesnt remember about it during the way....  hummm...  welll, this i will never know,lol

But our meeting will be really fun!  It will be the meeting of the century!!!  I myself cant believe that i am crossing a damm ocean to finally meet the guy i have only spoken through the internet,lol

(I tell him that i want to see england, of course, but we all know that i could leave england itself for another ocasion. I could go there next year, with no problem at all, i wouldnt die. But i need to meet him.  This is first thing i think.  If he was in another country, i would go after him to meet him, and i take England as a consequence, not the main purpose.)

But, of course that i dont tell him this.   Otherwise i would be inflating his ego and moreover, i dont think he would find it ok if i told him so, so i decided to keep quiet.
But...  Love is beautiful!!!!!   I am happy to be loving!!!  I am happy i finally could meet someone who shares from the same interests as I do!!! (lol, what a range of interests,lol) and also someone i can feel free to express my feelings (well, not ALL feelings, cos we women have to keep some of our feelings and mind wonderings for ourselves, otherwise we turn men crazy,lol)

Men cant understand how many things go inside our minds!!  I think they may say we are crazy or something.. If only they could know all the things we women think, lol  

But, well, it is late now and i haventmentioned the reason i wrote it was the most important week of the term, but tomorrow i write.  I couldnt leave Chris stuff out of tonights post.

So, tomorrow i go on telling about my work.

Bye for now:)

gosh !!

seems i am having some trouble to adapt to this new routine.
funny.  I feel a bit dizzy during the day. U have no idea of how things are hectic.
I have never lived such a hectic routine ever in my life.

The point is that i was "transfered" to this branch during the peak time, that is, if for the shop owners, they count on xmas season and mothers day to increase their cash flow, we - language school workers, we count on 2 periods in particular:  february/march and july/august.  The first period, february/march is like xmas season. The hottest period to gather students, as they are still planing their year ahead and also the begining of a year is the traditional period for "new years resolutions", so a great amount of students decide to start their english/spanish language courses.  It is with this amount of students that we are supposed to work throughout the year.  We call this period as : fishing season.  They are there, swimming in the pond, and we have to be good enough to fish them either in our nests (if we have a good commercial on Tv, or billboards, or radio spots) or in our fishing stick, (as we had in the begining of this year with the poor commercial our agency launched on TV, in wrong dates, in wrong places (they started to show commercials on Tv during the END of the summer season - march, in BEACH CITIES!!!!! When ALL of our students were already back to São Paulo!!!!!!  )  and, just to continue this paragraph, we are now living the "hunting season".  A peak season when we cannot "fish", as students are not wandering about looking at language schools, and choosing which one is best for them, now, this peak season - our mothers day period,  we have to actually HUNT them.  Funny to use this terminology, but it is true.

This period im living now is when we try to balance between our earns and loss between the months of march and june.  The first term.

This second term passes by so quickly!!!!  There is a saying which goes: long word months signs quick days passing by.  And it is true!  Gosh!! Soon, it will be september!  then, when we realize, it is october (halloween - the biggest party for the second term), and once more, we wake up one morning and see it is November!!!  then comes thanksgiving day, and soon, the final tests, and by december 15th, 18th, classes finishes.

We all say goodbye to them, try to enroll them for the next year, and see santa claus on television!!

So, the school now is at a crazy peak.  I think u may say im exagerating, but trust me: im not!
Today i had 5 individual talks with teachers, to set their groups, check availability, and stuff.  Each reunion lasted for about 60 minutes.  So, yes.  I spent 5 hours just talking to them, one by one.  Tomorrow, more teachers will come.

Today was a bit tough as i had to fire a teacher which participated in the training , but she hasnt got a profile, suitable for working in a franchising system, aimed at teenagers and young adults, as SKILL is.   Sad.  But well, life goes on.  She is not the first and not the last one i will have to dismiss.  (i try to find a way to lessen the stress it causes inside my mind and heart, but i still feel guilty when i have to dismiss a teacher.  gosh, it is weird.  Think it is the worst part of my job)

Well, just for u to imagine: while i was talking to them individually, one of the teachers was outside, paining our external panel with greek columns, and stuff, preparing it for Olympic Games festivities.  We still have to think of a good phrase to write on it:  "Good Luck Brazil, buena sorte, Brasil! Boa sorte brasil! - both in the 3 official languages in the school! :)

So, he was outside paitning the panel (it has about 3,5 metres of width and 2 metres height), i was in my office talking to teachers, then, the shelf of the teachers room simply fell, destroying part of the wall!!!  Can u believe it??  It made such a strong noise!  I almost fainted.  Sounded as a bomb or something.  I think that if we all were in the USA, then, the "cops" would be called to investigate the school, lol  - gosh.

So, then, inbetween the talks, the secretary would come inside my office holding papers and delivering them to me, some of them were placement tests made by new commers, and i had to stop the talk to correct them qquickly, then, ask the teachto excuse me and leave him / her there, looking at the ceilings and talking to the walls while i was attending the new commer. 

Not mentioning the thousand phone calls i received and asked the secretary to hold them, and not pass to me, except for the head office calls and urgent matters. (that means: std's parents)  Many times the teacher who was painting the panel would interrupt me asking me to take a look at the panel to check if it was ok.  (can u imagine me, in the middle of so much pressure, stop my things and go outside to see the damm panel??lol Gosh, but it is true, i had to motivete the teacher, and could not tell him: do what u want cos i have really urgent things to sort out"