Once one of my students came to me and asked me: "Teacher, what does this sentence mean?"
Well, in portuguese language it is rather difficult to translate it as its real implicit and emotional meaning. I think i have asnwered that he could understand this sentence as "A sua hora vai chegar"... or, maybe, "A sua vez vai chegar"...
The fact is that i remembered this sentence this week. but this time, related to my own "time".
I can say to myself: "My time is gonna come"....
When i first read through my annual horoscope for this year, I think I bought the small magazine in the ealy january, I quite surprised with the predictions that in the middle of the year, my life would change in many ways.
I thought to myself: "hell, but what on Earth could change in my life?? I have my job, my flat, my friends, and also, my plans for this year".
The thing is... It is changing... believe it or not, life pulled my legs and I am about to change many things in it.
First: The place I am working in will be sold. This means: I will have to work somewhere else. And THIS means: new place, new people, new period for adaptation (gosh, now that i have adapted to my current job, this is a shame!) THIS also means: new negociations for salary. and, finally this also means: My plans to travel in teh end of the year will be surely postponed. I could make a trip during xmas and new years period, but that would be a waste of money, cos it is a too short period.
This is the thing that annoys me the most. For all my life i have been planning to take a trip to England! I even packed twice!! Once, when i was 14 years old, and my granny - who is dead already, unfortunately, was very happy with this possibility.
We talked to my dad, about the money, and he said it was ok. Gosh, I still remember going to shops and buying winter clothes, leather boots, and luggages. I would be spending the whole month of January in a place called Bath.
The whole english school would be joining this excursion. I would stay at na english family house and have english classes.
There were speeches and meetings for the fathers interested in sending their kids to this excursion at my english school, and my granny and mother went there, I was so happy!
When finally the day for enrollment came, i heard my mother talking to my dad: "Arent u going to Cris school today to pay for the trip?"
And he replied: "No, she is not going."
Mom got really hysterical, and started saying really bad things to my father, saying that that was a clowninsh attitude, cos he had been seeing both her and my granny going to shops and meetings, to prepare my luggage for the excursion.
My father simply said: "well, u have been doing all this because u wanted to do... I did not tell u anything... I havent made a decision, and I havent been consulted"
Then, no need to tell you that a whole war started in my family... one side: my father... in the other: my mom, granny and me.
So,,, i ended up not going, as u can imagine... and then, my granny came to me in tears, and she said: Next year, you will go!! Trust me!!
It was very sad to look at all the things both mom and granny have bought to me.. and the luggage being prepared, and all teh stories about England that granny used to tell me, in the hope i could live all that somehow.. She even taught me to drink tea,lol I can remember her coming to me with really nice cups and sugar cubes and stuff, and talking a whole speech about the the tea... And she said something i will never forget: "Kika – as she used to call me – the most pleasant thing about the tea time are the biscuits and jam" and she laughed a lot.
And it was true! All tea sessions she used to prepare to teach me and get me used to the tea thing, had plenty of biscuits, and jams and all sort of delicatessen u could imagine!! She used also to get a bit annoyed at me when i asked to some coke to go along with them biscuits! – dont forget, Brazil is a tropical country, and tea is soooooo hot, hehehe
Then, the following year came, and by the middle of it, the whole thing started again... I was 15 years old. The school delivered the leaflets for the next season of exchange programs in England, and this time, my mom, had a serious talk to dad. She asked him if he would made the 3 of us as clowns again. (yes, theat was exactly her words – mom has a very peculiar way to talk to my dad, no doubt they are divorced now,lol – but say, about 99,99% of the times she talked to him this way, he deserved that. Granny was a sweeter woman and somehow i think i got in blood some of my mother and some of my granny, hehe)
Dad said no, that that year, as i was 15 i could go... and gave us the green signal for the spending session.. Again, we bought more things, coats and everything... Mom went to meeting, I went to meeting, filled the application form, responding to questions about my personalitty and also picturing the ideal british family i was willing to spend 30 days with.
Ahhh!! So nice and happy days...
But... again, in the day my dad had to go to the british council – in that time my school was ruled by the british council ppl, it was a sort of educational branch of the british council. – to pay for the fucking first installment of my trip – he came to me and mom and granny (she lived with us) and said: Unfortunately, i had put some money in the stock marketing business and i lost a quite amount of it in teh shares dropdown. So, I cant pay for cris trip.
Oh my God.
Think the thrisd war started in my family again!
No need to tell you that my mother never more let any of us (me, dad and granny) to speak about trips to England again. She was really mad.
And since then, hte trip to England was a secert me and granny shared in our secret talks. But never more again, i could show any sort of leaflet of trips to Uk at home.
Many things related to trips to england and attempts happened between this time when i was 15 years old and todays time (that I am bloody 30) but this is a subject for more and more posts in here.
I told u this just to make u understand the reason I am so pissed off about this postponing of my trip to england.
When everything seemed right, depending on my sole attitude on saving money, life acts as my dad did many years ago: in teh last minute, it comes and say: "Im sorry to inform you...but ur not going"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!! How miserable misfortune!!
What a sin!!!!!
How long more will I have to wait?? Maybe this is a curse someone put on me in a past life, i dunno. It is really strange that i always end up not going.
I am very disappointed, unsure, pissed off, fed up, angry and terribly, deeply sad.
Bye for now.
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