KNOW THE FEELING THAT EVERYBODY IS TURNING THEIR BACKS  TO YOU?

Something really weird i have in my mind, since i was a child is that the things “wrong “we do during our road of existence must be fixed somehow along our lives.
Funny cos this idea has always lived inside of me , think it was my granny who taught me that.
I sometimes catch myself trying to explain bad facts in my life as a refletion of something i have done wrong earlier.
The thing is: from a while ago up to now, i have been noticing that i have lost a really big bunch of "friends”. 
I was always the type of person who was very sociable and never ever had problems with friends.
But i have noticed that somehow, i dont know if its because of my behaviour, i have been hurting a damm lot of ppl.  I feel terribly irritated at the first little thing and usually replies to ppl in a rude way, or sarcastic.  I have a lot of irritation in my soul and this is not due to PMS or stuff...  No...  its impossible to be living under PMS all year long.
I have this feeling inside of me , like if it was another person.  I react rudely and often i embarasss ppl, by giving them rude remarks, talking harshly.
Also, i must change something in my attitude towards male friends.  I have always been very opened up, extroverted and treated them as equals.  I have been observing that 99% of them mix this “opened” attitude i have with “vulgarity”, and not very rare, they come up with “jerk” behaviour, or kinky speeches that frightenes me...and then, when i put them back to their places, by saying: Hey! What the hell r u talking about?  Or,  “Oh! Go to hell! Do u think im what?” – then, they simply dont seem to understand and say that im weird and stuff. – and then, i lose another “friend”.
Well... this year, we are in April now...but i can say that i have already lost about 5 to 6 “friends” this way.
But u know what? Fuck them!
I really dont miss them a bit , just was annoyed by the fact that i must be having a wrong attituded with my male friends.  I will try frrom now on to be more  “quiet” and serene”....
- hell, this will be tough,lol
I cant act as someone i am not...
But i will , at least, try to be more...er...reserved...
I really dont think that it will help, but i will give it a try.
Another thing that i MUST change, is the sense – silly one, that i have:  I always expect from ppl more than they can give me.
And often i catch myself really disappointed...
Oh...damm it.
Where is my psychologist??? lol